


they live on through memory

by shesthemuscle



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/F, If you haven't seen the show but are reading fic well I don't know what to tell you, Missing Scene, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 06:40:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17075282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesthemuscle/pseuds/shesthemuscle
Summary: A comment from Charlie causes Sara to think about her team and the ones no longer there. Ava helps her deal with feelings long unaddressed.





	they live on through memory

It’s strange how life changes over the course of several years, for both the good and the bad. Sara Lance is definitely familiar with how bad life can become when she lost years because she got on the boat with Oliver but then she came home and became a hero. Then Rip came into her life and changed it for the better, giving her something she didn’t know she needed.

 

Now, she’s the Captain of the Waverider, with an incredible team-turn-family and a fantastic girlfriend. Still, it wasn’t easy getting to this point as the team suffered several departures and losses over the past four years.

 

She stares at amber liquid in her glass then lets out a sigh.

 

“Hey, I was wondering where you got off to,” comments Ava from the doorway of her office.

 

Offering her girlfriend, a small smile, she gestures for Ava to enter the room because she knows her girlfriend won’t leave anyways.

 

Ava crosses the room then leans against the edge of the desk.

 

“Alright, what’s going on with you?”

 

Sara stares at her girlfriend, as she decides whether or not to tell her what’s going on in her head. As the minutes tick by and Ava stares at her, she realizes that there’s not running from this and she needs to tell her.

 

Being honest with one’s feelings is important in a relationship and it’s taken her so long to come to this realization.

 

“It’s really hit me how much has happened since I stepped on, or rather, Rip kidnapped…well, Mick, Ray and I. I’m not sure what to make up of it or what to do,” says Sara forlornly.

 

Ava frowns at her girlfriend’s words.

 

“What brought this on?” Ava asks.

 

_The crew is hanging around in the kitchen as Ray takes his turn preparing dinner and the others are having their drink of choice._

 

_Leaning back in her chair, Charlie lets her gaze wander around the group._

 

_“You lot really are something else. How long have you been a crew?” she asks._

 

_It’s silent for a few moments._

 

_“We’ve all joined up at different times, some more voluntary than others,” replies Nate grinning._

 

_Rolling her eyes, Sara realizes Charlie never got much of a background on the crew and their history._

 

_“Well sorry we all couldn’t save people as our entrance to become a Legend,” she says sarcastically._

 

_There’s some light laughter amongst the group._

 

_“The truth is, the three of us,” Ray gestures to Mick, Sara and himself, “were brought onto this ship against our will. Then Nate noticed things weren’t adding up over time through history then connected the dots, saving us all. We tracked down a demon when we came across Zari and recruited her. Rip, our original captain found Wally and he decided to join up for a bit then we needed help from Constantine but then he decided to join up later,” explains Ray quickly._

 

_Charlie raises an eyebrow at that._

 

_“So, I take it there were others then? Besides Amaya, that is?” asks Charlie._

 

_“Yes, though I never met them all,” replies Zari._

 

_Sara sighs._

 

_“Three team members including our original captain died and five others including Amaya decided it was time to leave,” she says._

 

_The room falls silent._

 

_Then she leaves the kitchen, suddenly not hungry anymore._

 

Ava listens to Sara carefully as she watches her body language carefully.

 

“You know, you really don’t talk about them much,” she points out.

 

Sara raises an eyebrow at her from where’s she seated in the chair behind the desk.

 

Ava matches her expression.

 

“You know it’s true. I only really know the names of the former Legends and not even the story of how Rip brought you all together,” comments Ava, “You and Ray and Rory are all very tight-lipped, which knowing Ray Palmer, is actually surprising and it’s not surprising when it comes to Rory.”

 

Standing up, Sara moves across the room to put some space between them.

 

“Does it really matter? They’re not here and a few of them can never come back. So, why?” asks Sara.

 

“Hey, its okay to miss them, Sara. They way they live on is through sharing memories of them with those of us who never had the chance to meet them. Don’t you think they deserve that?” states Ava.

 

Then she crosses the room to stand in front of her girlfriend.

 

Raising a hand, Ava gently tucks some hair behind Sara’s hair as she looks at her with a soft smile on her face.

 

It’s that look that knocks Sara down, metaphorically that is.

 

“When you’re right, you right. God, I hate that.”

 

Ava laughs lightly at the comment.

 

“Hate it? I’m pretty sure you love it.”

 

Sara chuckles.

 

Looking at Ava in the eyes, the smile falls off of Sara’s lips then she looks at the ground for a few moments before looking up at the ceiling like she’s trying hard to not cry.

 

Ava pulls Sara to her and holds her tightly as Sara buries her face in her neck as she wraps her arms around Ava’s waist.

 

They’re silent for a long time as Sara’s body slowly starts to tremble.

 

Ava gently rubs her back.

 

She’s Captain Sara Lance, the one who the rest of the team depends on to be the strong one, the controlled one. But thinking about the people who aren’t here is too much for her when she’s got such support from Ava.

 

Ava kisses the top of her head when she feels Sara calming down.

 

“They do deserve to be remembered, as painful as it is for those of us left behind,” mumbles Sara against Ava’s neck.

 

Eventually, Sara pulls away then leads Ava over to the couch where they sit down; Ava places her arm around Sara’s shoulders.

 

“God, you and Snart would have been absolutely ridiculous but you’d get on better than you do with Mick. Where Mick doesn’t say much, Leonard could say a lot with only a few words and a look. The snark was real but I think he thawed out towards the end. He would have because he gave his life for this team,” says Sara.

 

Ava snorts at the comment about her and Rory.

 

“I get on better with a brick than I do with Rory,” she says.

 

“Cats and dogs, really. You and Leonard, both cats.”

 

Shaking her head, Ava’s happy to be learning about some of the former Legends members; the group protecting history has such a strange history when it comes to themselves.

 

“I think you would have liked Kendra. She had heart and cared so much about everyone and people in general which is why she and Ray were a good match. Also, reincarnated demi-goddess who was seriously badass. The wings were cool as fuck even if trying to help her control the goddess within gave me a few bruises,” says Sara fondly.

 

Ava’s eyes widened in response.

 

“There’s a lot to unpack there. I mean, after what we’ve dealt with lately, I believe the whole demi-goddess thing. But wings? Seriously?” responds a bewildered Ava.

 

Sara laughs.

 

“Yeah, if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it either. Gideon, if you would….”

 

“Of course, Captain,” replies Gideon.

 

A photo of Kendra in battle with her wings extended appears in front of the two women.

 

Ava lets go of Sara and moves closer for a closer look, much to Sara’s amusement.

 

“That’s seriously….hot.”

 

“Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

 

Ava turns back to Sara and gives her a kiss.

 

“You’re my favorite hot badass though,” she states.

 

Sara kisses her firmly.

 

“Good, that’s what I like to hear.”

 

Ava sits back down before getting back to the matter at hand.

 

“Ray and Kendra though? After his whole thing with Nora Darhk, it’s strange to think of him interested in another woman. It’s not bad, just weird,” she comments.

 

Sara shrugs.

 

“Ray’s weird, part of being a Legend. He was more than interested, they were engaged at one point,” responds Sara.

 

Ava frowns and knowing Ray, knows that couldn’t have ended well.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Oh, you know, we found out her reincarnated soulmate had reincarnated again somehow while trying to take down an immortal evil dude who used said soulmate against her because he too, was obsessed with Kendra. Then once evil dude was defeated, Kendra and reincarnated soulmate decided to go see what life is like together without an evil dude coming after them was like.”

 

Ava doesn’t say anything for a couple minutes.

 

“That’s totally something that would happen to the Legends.”

 

“That’s valid. Ray handled it well and we had other fish to fry so it distracted him and gave him something to focus on so he wouldn’t wallow,” says Sara.

 

After everything, she hopes Ray gets his chance at a happy relationship because he deserves it. They may not have gotten on in the beginning but now, she can’t imagine the team without him.

 

Looking at Ava, Sara bites her lip.

 

“I know that you know, more or less, what happened to the others but I guess, I haven’t really talked about it or them,” states Sara.

 

Ava nods her head then rubs Sara’s shoulder gently.

 

Professor Stein was killed by Nazis then Jefferson Jackson couldn’t stay because there were too many memories of the professor on the ship. Amaya decided she needed to follow destiny’s course once her family was saved and Wally wanted to take some time away to find himself. As for Rip...her director and friend, sacrificed himself for the team.

 

“I think it would do yourself a world of good to talk about them, you can’t keep it all in,” comments Ava.

 

“There were so many times I wanted to smack Stein for being an old, white guy but they’re outnumbered by the good times. Did you know he smoked weed? Jax and I did it with a younger version of him once. There was definitely more the man than meets the eye. I miss him and grounding he gave the team by being so much older and experienced.”

 

God, it wasn’t fair that Martin got killed by Nazis.

 

He shouldn’t have died at all, right when he became a grandfather.

 

Suddenly, Ava’s hands were on hers as her girlfriend forces her hands to relax out of the fists she made.

 

“Sorry babel thinking about how Martin died still pisses me off,” she says.

 

“Hey, I get it. Any decent person would be…I know I am and I didn’t really know him.”

 

Sara moves so her head is in Ava’s lap.

 

“Jax was the kid brother I never had and for so long, my right-hand man as cliched as that sounds. It’s impressive how well he took to working on the Waverider, a ship from the future. The kid had heart and stubbornness, though the latter probably rubbed off from Martin. I’m glad he’s going to find the happiness he so desperately deserves.”

 

Sara wonders if the team will get to see his big day and the birth of his daughter. She wonders what he’ll tell her about them if he does.

 

They’re silent for a while, listening to the hum of the Waverider.

 

There’s no rush to be anywhere at the moment so they’ll enjoy being together while they can.

 

“Seeing Charlie look like Amaya’s been rough. Some days, I want to yell at John for forcing her to be stuck in this form but other days, I’m just happy that I get to see her face. Amaya left such a big hole in the team, I can’t explain it. She was a good friend and taught me a lot. We did not get on at first but I liked that. Amaya’s so much better than me.”

 

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” interrupts Ava.

 

Looking up at her girlfriend, Sara smiles.

 

“I didn’t mean that in a self-deprecating manner. Amaya’s just an incredibly impressive person no matter how you look at it. She didn’t need to try, she just was,” explains Sara.

 

Playing with Sara’s hair, Ava doesn’t speak.

 

Even when she couldn’t stand the Legends, it was Sara, not Amaya who impressed her when it should have been the other way around but Ava wouldn’t change it for anything.

 

Turning her head to the side, Sara kisses the inside of Ava’s wrist, drawing her attention back to her.

 

“Wally’s a good kid. I can understand getting away to be your own person. Barry’s a nice guy but the whole Flash thing, I see how the shadow would be smothering. If Barry and Iris find out Wally was on the Waverider for awhile and we didn’t tell them, didn’t bring him home to them, they’re not gonna take it well. He’s got a good head on him, so he’ll be fine.”

 

“I agree; besides he has your number and I know you’ll answer his call; should he ever need someone,” teases Ava.

 

“Hey now, you don’t know Oliver, Barry and Kara. They are a lot to deal with,” responds Sara, slapping Ava’s leg.

 

“You know, I’m not in any hurry to meet them. Your team is enough to keep me busy…none more than you, Captain Lance.”

 

There’s one person left unmentioned.

 

When it comes to Rip, Sara finds that she can’t speak. His sacrifice still hurts too much to talk about. Their relationship was full of so much and a lot of it went unsaid when maybe it shouldn’t have. She can’t change the past but right now, for her...for Gideon....for Ray, Mick, Nate and even Zari, it’s just not the right time to talk about Rip.

 

“I know I said a lot but there’s a lot more. However, I don’t think I can say anything else right now. This was a lot and boy, I feel drained but relieved at the same time,” states Sara.

 

“I’m happy you got that much off of your chest. I’m not going to force you to do more especially when you acknowledge you need to stop,” replies Ava gently.

 

“In that case, I say you and I go have a nap. Then maybe later…you can help me get something else off of my chest,” comments Sara with a smirk on her face as she runs a finger up Ava’s calf then back down.

 

“That, uh, tha-that sounds a like-like a plan to me,” says Ava.

 

Sara keeps it up for a few more moments.

 

Then she stands up before holding a hand out to her girlfriend so she can help her up. Once they’re both standing, Sara hugs Ava tightly.

 

“Thank you. I didn’t know that I needed that.”

 

“You’re welcome. Maybe later, you could tell me stories of the team and I could share some Rip ones, there’s a few I think you and Ray would be interested in hearing,” comments Ava.

 

Sara raises an eyebrow at that.

 

“Oh? You certainly have my attention, Director Sharpe.”


End file.
